Needing a boost...

This last week in church I got to teach an amazing lesson entitled "Faithfulness in Times of Trial: From the shadows into the glorious Sunshine"...lets just say a lot of Kleenexes were used. In fact, I gave out small packets of them as a little handout at the very beginning of class with a great quote on it. It said "Every man and woman who serves the Lord, no matter how faithful they may be, have their dark hours; but if they have lived faithfully, light will burst upon them and relief will be furnished."

This lesson was a hard one to prepare...it felt too personal, too close to home, and a little too raw for me. But it ended up being just what my soul needed. My soul has felt very depleted lately, almost like my soul was just tired. It needed a boost. General Conference last week was the beginning of that much needed boost. Then to hear the ladies at church talk about how we can help each other through rough times, the love and support they have for those they love, the amount of service they do for others, and the time they spend praying for others encouraged me. The spirit was very strong and I came home from church with a renewed effort to relax more, not stress as much over things I have no control, to let others help, to let the spirit guide me more often, and to spend more time on my knees in prayer.

Not only has my spirit been lacking, but my physical body has too. When you are constantly getting up in the middle of the night to help your child it starts to take its toll. I have 4 children to take care of and I babysit 4 others on and off all week. I haven't been getting in the kind of exercise my body is use to and needs. I haven't been as diligent with eating well either.

 So...here is the beginning of a new week. A perfect time to start over.  I am currently listening to the Ensign magazine on the computer to lift my spirit :) and I had a great workout this morning. When it is cold outside I struggle to get in enough liquids, which I know can lead to me getting headaches. So I found this interesting new drink I am going to try. Just click here ... or go to http://mom2mycrazy2.blogspot.com/2012/06/detox-apple-cinnamon-water-pinned-it.html.

I am doing it more for the energy boost I hope it gives...and hey, can you ever really go wrong with anything that has Cinnamon in it, haha. I am doing the boiled version, my house already smells yummy. I will let you know how it goes.

After 2 years....really?

Just a funny little story for all of my 12 readers haha

So about a month ago I noticed that the Magnolia bush/tree we planted had some roots showing. I figured I would just put a little extra dirt around the bottom to help it grow better. I looked in the garage and found an old planter box. I had used it 2 years ago to try to grow some onions. They never grew, so I just put it in the garage and forgot about it. The dirt was still in the box and I figured it was enough to spread around the Magnolia bush. So I did it.

Yesterday I went outside and saw all these little green things growing around the Magnolia bush, figuring they were weeds I just started pulling them up. I started to smell something familiar...the smell of onions. Guess what, the onions are now growing!!! I guess it is just another form of patience I need to learn. How bad did I want onions...I just needed to wait 2 years :)

No fears, when they get a little bigger I will definitely take pictures to show you :)

Patients...

Up and down, up and down...

The up and down feeling of being on a roller coaster is still here in my life...I can't seem to shake it. The lows are extremely low...and then it starts to head back up. I like the ride up, I enjoy the view and the peace I feel until I hit the crest and we start to race towards the ground again. I need to get use to this and accept it as our new "normal" I guess. 

So lets concentrate on the highs for a minute :)

My oldest two girls had birthdays. I am so blessed that they are good friends.

 

Paige turned 14 and couldn't be more excited to move on to the Mia Maids class in church. She had a birthday party with some friends. They ate pizza, did manicures, and watched a movie. She is an amazing daughter. She is like me in so many ways...sometimes that is a good thing and other times it's not such a good thing :)

Shawntell turned 12 just 9 days after Paiges birthday. She is beyond ready to leave primary and join the Beehive group of young ladies at church. She is so mellow, sweet, kind and understanding, many of the qualities I lack :) She is having her birthday party this weekend. More junk food, giggling girls and movies...it should be a blast.

Other excited news in the Ashby family...Shawn's parents received their mission call to Dejeon, Korea. They are very excited and so are we. My brother and his wife are expecting their third child. My other brother just helped his little girl celebrate her first birthday. Mom and Mike are filling out their papers to also serve an LDS mission later this year.

The lows...I guess there is only one, it just feels HUGE...always in the back of my mind. Austin and his Crohn's :( 

This last week has been a rough one for him. We have learned that some foods will trigger the symptoms more often than other foods. One of them is corn dogs...for me that would not be a big deal, but for Austin it is pretty traumatic. The other day he came home from school and this is the conversation we had.

Austin: "Mom, I am soooo sick"

Mom: "What did you eat for lunch?"

A: "Mini corn dogs"

M: "Um...buddy, you know those make your tummy hurt. Why would you eat them?"

A: "Um...because the only other option was raviolis, those taste horrible. So I would rather eat something that tastes good and feel horrible instead of something that tastes horrible and feel fine."

Yep...that is how a 9 year old mind works.

Crohn's is a very deceptive disease. You can feel fine one minute and balled up in pain 5 minutes later. This picture was taken this morning...and 30 minutes into his school day he had to call me to come get him because he was beyond sick. There are only so many times you can visit the restroom during school without feeling like it might just be better to be at home.

Here is the start of our  "DO NOT EAT" list:

Corn Dogs (too processed, his body just doesn't know how to process it so it flushes it out...quickly)

Grapes (too much fiber...it rips his insides apart and makes him bleed)

Refried Beans (fiber issue)

Pork and beans (ditto)

Ham (not sure why his body can't tolerate this one)

KFC fried chicken (his body hates fried things)

Cucumbers (fiber)

Cheetos (too processed)

Apples (fiber)

Carrots (fiber)

At some point this list will be so long that we will just start a list of "foods I can eat."

Sorry if this is long and boring...or too much information, but when I am stressed, I talk! or write in this case haha. All will be well, I know. I have faith we as a family are strong enough to rise above this challenge. But sometimes I just need to get it out...and then I feel better. So thanks for letting me :)

A quick up date...and some silliness

Austin update = He has gained back 8 of the 12 lbs he lost :) and we started the weaning off of the steroids today yippee. He is back in school and bugging his sisters constantly. Looks like the weekly shots of medication are doing their job.

The silliness part: To relieve some of the stress  of these last few months I took the older girls to a concert. It was at a teeny, tiny place in SLC. There were 5 bands that played. My friend Mindy also came. We had so much fun. Here are some of the pictures.

 They stamped our hands with this huge flower stamp...so we decided to make a star and show you the flowers haha

Funny story...see that girl that photo bombed us? We didn't know her, but she was really friendly. She told us that she was an American Idol, we sort of didn't believe her. Until on the drive home...Mindy decided to look her up on google...yep there she was Maddie Penrose, American Idol Season 11.

Mindy and I...and our new friend, American Idol, Maddie Penrose :) It was a fun night and some much needed girl time.

What is Crohn's

Wikipedia definition:

Crohn's disease, also known as Crohn syndrome and regional enteritis, is a type of inflammatory bowel disease that may affect any part of the gastrointestinal tract from mouth to anus, causing a wide variety of symptoms. It primarily causes abdominal pain, diarrhea (which may be bloody if inflammation is at its worst), vomiting (can be continuous), or weight loss, but may also cause complications outside the gastrointestinal tract such as skin rashes, arthritis, inflammation of the eye, tiredness, and lack of concentration. Crohn's disease is caused by interactions between environmental, immunological and bacterial factors in genetically susceptible individuals.^[4][5][6] This results in a chronic inflammatory disorder, in which the body's immune system attacks the gastrointestinal tract possibly directed at microbial antigens.Crohn's disease has wrongly been described as an autoimmune disease in the past; recent investigators have described it as an immune deficiency state.

 Crohn's disease tends to present initially in the teens and twenties, with another peak incidence in the fifties to seventies, although the disease can occur at any age.There is no known pharmaceutical or surgical cure for Crohn's disease. Treatment options are restricted to controlling symptoms, maintaining remission, and preventing relapse. 

Right now Austin's red blood cells are attacking themselves...the immune system is over active in some areas of his body and under active in other areas. They did a blood test to see if the immunizations he was given as an infant and toddler were "accepted" by his body. All of them were NOT :( So that is a little more proof that he has had this in his body since he was born, the flu he got in December just triggered it into a full blown flare. There are many treatments out there, some are pretty crazy, and others are totally worth looking into. Right now we are just trying to get him into remission, then we will worry about maintaining it. Some of the treatments will NOT work with Austin for the fact that they found evidence of crohn's in multiple sites in his GI track. Right now we are trying to slowly wean him off the steroids he is on. We started giving him a shot of Methotrexate once a week (it is a form of Chemo therapy). It is so scary reading the side effects this can have, but we truly felt this was the right path for him at this time. Depending on how he reacts to this medication will determine how long he has to be on it. There are a lot of misconceptions that this disease can be totally controlled by diet...and for some it can, for others it cannot. We are prayerfully considering all of our options and are giving him the treatments that we feel are right for him. We have faith that our Heavenly Father knows exactly how and what we should be doing for our little boy.

Reality is setting in.

Our life has been a roller coaster for a little while now. 

I am not even sure how to express what I am feeling half of the time.

Austin was official diagnosed with Crohn's disease this Monday. 

I have learned a lot about the disease already, and yet still feel very uneducated on the subject. I have learned that it affects every person differently. Depending on where the disease is found in the GI track can also affect treatment options and symptoms. Austin had multiple biopsies taken and crohns was found in every part...from  his esophagus down to his rectum. The above picture was taken at the Dr. appointment where we decided he needed a colonoscopy and endoscopy to find out for sure if he had crohns. His symptoms were already leading us in that direction.

 It is amazing how quickly a persons life can change in just a few short weeks. He lost 12 lbs, he missed 3 weeks of school in a row. When he was doing the cleanse for the testing he even told me he thought he was going to die. As a mother it was heartbreaking to watch him suffer. He spent so much time in the bathroom  that we started to do homework in there with him. My sweet angel of a mother came down for a couple of days to help me. She would read him stories while he sat on the toilet. At his lowest point he was throwing up blood and curled up in a ball crying for most of the day. I lost it!!! I was not proud of my behavior, but a medical assistant up at PCMC got an ear full and I may have thrown the phone across the room. And yes when I saw that medical assistant again I apologized :) He laughed and said you would be surprised how many phone calls he gets like that...good to know I am not the only crazy parent out there.

This is my brave boy and Shawn getting ready for the procedure. He looks so skinny here. He was all skin and bones, he reminded me of a Holocaust survivor. It brought me to tears to hug his little, frail body. I could see all of his bones, count his ribs, and carry him up the stairs in one arm. His joints hurt so bad that he couldn't even crawl up the stairs. By the time we got to the date of the procedure we were more then ready for some answers, good or bad...and medication.

Hanging out in recovery. He loved the slushy they gave him.

The conference with the Dr. after the procedure was eye opening. We had to wait for 5 days for pathology to get done testing the biopsies, but the signs of crohns disease were everywhere. I cried, Shawn cried, the Dr. even shed a tear or two. We put Austin on a steroid medication to help with the inflammation in his bowels, and began waiting for the definite diagnosis. Within 24 hours he started to show signs of improvement. The first thing he said when he was totally awake  was "Man, I just want a Baconator from Wendy's." My boy was coming back to me! He hadn't eaten much of anything in 2 months. Within 3 days he was walking up the stairs on his own, he was eating like crazy and even teasing his sisters again.

So what is reality for us now...lots of Dr. visits. We have home health coming to show me how to give my son weekly injections of medication. Journeling his food intake...and the bathroom output of that same food, haha. He has even gained back 4 lbs. He is a strong, brave, good spirited little boy. We as a family still have tons to learn, and we get to make some adjustments. The older girls have been huge helpers and seem to understand how all of our lives will be changed forever. Kambree on the other hand...she is the baby of the family. She is having a harder time understanding why Austin gets special treatment and why he misses so much school. It will just take some time to get use to.

I just wanted to thank you all again for all the prayers, fun gifts you brought over, amazing food and treats, phone calls, messages and notes, and especially your friendship. I will try to update how we ALL are doing a little more often. I never intended my blog to be about "just Austin", it will always be about the whole family. But for a little while it might be more about him, and that is OK :)

The words "Thank you" never feel adequate enough

Meet my funny boy :) Mr. Austin ... wearing a fake mustache!

Austin has been sick for about 2 months, on and off. We are trying really hard to get him better.

 Today we asked friends and family to dedicate a little time to him by fasting and or saying an extra prayer just for him.

 

The request for this was answered by so many friends and family it was overwhelming! The desire to serve my son has lifted not only his spirits but mine as well. I grew up in a small town, where everyone knows everyone.  Everyone knows your business...the good and the bad.  When you live in a big city you lose that sense of "small town community/family." Thankfully because of modern technology I was able to connect with all of the family and friends I have all over the world in just a few short minutes.  That sense of family and close knit community is instantly renewed. I am in awe at how quickly people responded with quick messages of love and hope. My faith has been strengthened by the feelings of peace and comfort that has come from a direct result of so many people petitioning our Heavenly Father to help us find some answers.

This blog update is to say thank you!!! Thank you for sharing your time with us, your love with us, and your friendship with us. There are too many people to thank personally...but just know that every message sent, every fb "like" and every comment is appreciated. On most days they are needed more than anything...just knowing people care, are concerned, and are sending hope our way makes a huge difference. 

Every day with Austin is different, we have good days and bad days. Last Tuesday he went to school for 4 hours :) and today he made it to 20 minutes of sacrament meeting. He tries so hard to be brave, but there are days we all just want to curl up in a ball and cry...and that is OK too.

We know our Heavenly Father is with us, and mindful of our struggles. We can do this...we can do this...has become our new family motto. 

Thanks again :)